I started the Fear-less blog 5 years old and have written more than 50 articles. I aim to write one a month - sometimes I wonder whether I will run out of ideas for new articles – but it hasn’t happened yet!
I get about 10,000 visitors a year to the website (not huge but it is growing!) -about 80% of whom have clicked on a blog article to get there. There are a few articles that are especially popular but also some have never been ‘discovered’ that I think have a lot of value. The reason they have not been discovered could be as simple as the wrong key words. Most articles are ‘evergreen’ meaning they don’t relate to a specific event so retain their relevance over time. I have not used AI to generate any of the articles on the Blog. Most of my articles are heavy on original content – i.e., they draw on my own experience as a coach of people who fear public speaking. Many also reference other sources. I have written this article as a guide to the Fear-less blog so that you can more easily find articles of interest. And to give some of my lesser-known articles a second chance!
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Today’s blog post has a simple message. Everyone wants to become a more confident presenter. But confidence is not something that just happens. It takes courage and practice to become more confident.
Confidence is the number one thing people who fear public speaking want to gain. "I want to become a confident presenter.” “I would like to gain confidence in front of an audience.” "I want to look like a confident speaker” “I want to feel more confident when speaking to an audience.” These are all things that clients tell me. But many also tell me they avoid public speaking as much as possible! And that is having the opposite effect – it is eroding their confidence. I have a client, let's call him Ben, who has recently started his dream job. He is a strong presenter, passionate about his work, is getting great feedback from his manager, and knows he is the right person for the job. But despite all this, he experiences high anxiety when presenting to an audience in his new job.
He dreads even introducing himself. He knows he will have to do more presenting in the future, and he is worried about undermining his credibility by looking nervous – or even worse – having a panic attack! Not that he has ever had one – in fact, he gets great audience reactions and good feedback after he presents. Ben also has a start-up and does not feel at all nervous when presenting in this context. Ben is an extreme version of what I see in many clients. They are highly capable, reasonable or even good presenters and are comfortable presenting to certain audiences but are experiencing extreme anxiety in a corporate setting. Here is another example. Sarah (not her real name) spent many years in the entertainment sector. She joined my course after starting a corporate job. Presenting was a large part of the role, and she hated it! Sarah's first presentation in the course was about her previous career in entertainment. She was bubbly, engaging, charming, and showed no signs of anxiety. Her second presentation was what would have been a typical work presentation, and she seemed like a different person. She came across as professional but less engaging and relaxed. She had taken on a corporate persona that did not fit with what we had seen of her. In the pre-course questionnaire I send to my clients, I ask them if any particular audiences worry them the most. Some people say, "all audiences", but the most common response is "senior leaders, executives, people who are senior to me and so on." In this article, I explore what is going on for clients who get very nervous presenting to people with authority. It is a combination of a fear of being judged, the pressures of a corporate environment and feeling like they have to pretend to be something they are not. I am always looking for new ways to help people reframe their anxiety about public speaking, so I was thrilled to come across this TED talk by Lisa Damour – "3 steps of anxiety overload -- and how you can take back control".
She explains the three stages of anxiety and how we can intervene at each stage to stop ourselves from overreacting. The stages are:
I apply Lisa's three-stage framework to public speaking anxiety in this article. I look at some things we can do at each stage to prevent or minimise progression to the next. Ever had the experience of going blank in front of an audience? Forgetting what you were going to say and starting to panic? Or had an ‘out of body experience’ where you could hear yourself talking (even waffling)?! You may have felt like a horrified observer.
Experiences like these are hugely disconcerting but not unusual. For most of my clients, their biggest fear is forgetting what they want to say. I have written this article for people who want to do something about their fear of public speaking but need encouragement to take that first step.
Many people hesitate because they know that taking a course will require them to do the thing they dread. Often they worry that they will be the most nervous speaker there! Before starting a Fear-less public speaking course, I ask my clients to complete a questionnaire. And I hear similar stories over and over. I want to encourage people to tackle their fear of public speaking by sharing some of these stories and using my client's words. I encourage people to talk about something they know and care about when they do the first speech for one of my courses. It requires little preparation, but more importantly, it eliminates one possible source of anxiety for people – having to talk about something that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Often people surprise themselves when they do that first talk. And they start to realise that their job may have triggered their anxiety. The reasons for this usually relate to at least one of the following.
Most courses I run have at least 1 or 2 people attending because they have a wedding speech looming.
I also have clients who are still haunted by a ‘disastrous’ wedding speech in the past. For example, someone recently told me that he was nervous the whole day before his wedding because he was dreading his speech. Often such an experience is the impetus for them to register for a course. It is a shame that the joy of such an occasion can be overshadowed by having to do a speech! But it doesn't have to be that way. This article is less about the mechanics of writing a special occasion speech and more about how to ensure that the speech doesn’t ruin your experience of the occasion. Skilled speakers exude confidence, right?
Not necessarily. Many reasonably good speakers suffer from intense self-doubt, which ruins the experience of speaking for them and holds them back from becoming great speakers. If you are an anxious speaker, you have probably decided you are rubbish at it – but, as this article explains, you may well be underrating your abilities. If You Are Avoiding Public Speaking You Are Not Alone – But You Are Not Doing Yourself Any Favours.28/9/2022 I run courses for people with public speaking anxiety. In the pre-course questionnaire, 80% of participants say that they avoid public speaking if they possibly can. They turn down opportunities, get 'sick' on the day, ask others to step in for them, and even turn down jobs.
I am not suggesting that 80% of all people are actively avoiding public speaking. But I bet many of us have wriggled out of doing a presentation at some stage in our lives – I know I have! Here are a couple of the more heart-breaking comments I have had from clients. |
Catherine SymeI get huge satisfaction from seeing the relief, pride, and even joy that people experience when they complete a course and reflect on the progress they have made. See what others say for some inspiring stories. Archives
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