Presenting to an audience can be intimidating because it feels unnatural. We are used to interactive conversations where we get immediate verbal and non-verbal feedback. But when we present to an audience, it can feel like a one-way experience. All eyes are on us and we are often looking at blank faces. In fact, one theory about why we fear public speaking is that it has an evolutionary basis and we perceive the audience as the predator! (See my recent article on this and other theories about why we fear public speaking. why-do-so-many-people-fear-public-speaking.html)

Sometimes people do have to present to ‘hostile’ or indifferent audiences. But usually our audiences are  easy to please if we give them what they want. More often than not the main thing they are looking for is connection. The great news is that establishing connection will also make you feel more relaxed.
Connecting with your audience helps you “get out of your own head” as you realise that it’s not all about you. Approaching a presentation in the mindset of “How can I best serve my audience?” rather than “what will they think of me?” is empowering.
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Most public speaking coaches agree that the old advice to imagine your audience as naked is the worst advice that you can give someone because it creates the barrier between you and your audience!
So here are nine things you can try instead. 

1. Pause and make eye contact
This can be a real game changer when you learn to do this well. A tip is to pause at point you would normally expect a response (verbal or non-verbal) from someone if you were in a two-way conversation. Establish eye contact with someone as you do this. Often they will acknowledge you with a nod or a smile and it’s a very reassuring when that happens! If someone looks grumpy or bored, don’t dwell on them – move on to the next person.
Of course, you should also make eye-contact when you are speaking, not just when you are pausing. Hold eye contact with one person for a few seconds until the end of a sentence, phrase or idea. At first this will seem a bit longer than you feel comfortable with but with a bit of practice it will feel quite natural.

2. Stop hiding behind the PowerPoint
A lot of nervous speakers look down at their notes or at their PowerPoint presentation or hide behind a lectern. I have done this myself – I hid behind a PowerPoint presentation for years because I liked the audience looking at the slides instead of me! Afterwards I would feel relieved that I got through another presentation, but it didn’t make me a good presenter.
There is nothing wrong with PowerPoint to support your presentation but remember you are the presentation – not your slides!

3. Involve your audience
There are so many ways of doing this from passive to very active and everything in between. Here are some ideas.

• Open with a question – this could be a rhetorical one or a real one that you expect a response to or a show of hands.  
• Ask for a volunteer to demonstrate something.
• Take a mini-break and ask each person to turn to their neighbour and share something relevant to your presentation.
• Allow them to ask questions. When to allow questions can be tricky. If you allow interruptions you may never get to the end. But if you wait until the end you have lost an opportunity to engage along the way.  Set the ground rules at the start so they know what to expect.
• If you are using examples you might want to name one of your audience members. Imagine you are talking to young people about the importance of getting enough sleep. You might say – “if Anna leaves her cell-phone in her bag rather than next to her bed she is likely to get an extra half hour sleep every night.”

 
4. Get conversational
The most natural speakers appear to be having a conversation with their audience. Although a presentation is a performance the trick is to make it look as natural as possible. Minimum use of notes, pausing and making eye contact all help with this. Its best not to memorise your speech – remember ideas, not words. Each time you practice or give a presentation, the words should be a bit different.
 
5. Tell stories
Stories are a powerful too for presenters for so many reasons and they really help with audience connection. A good story has emotion and a message or a takeaway that people can relate to.

6. Get personal
While stories are great, personal stories are even better. An audience loves hearing about you own experiences, especially if its humorous or about something that has gone wrong!

7. Be vulnerable
You have probably seen the famous TED talk “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown. What she discovered is that true human connection is not possible without vulnerability. In a follow up talk, “Listening to Shame” she makes a striking observation. “ You know what the big secret about TED is? .. This is like the failure conference. ..You know why this place is amazing? Because very few people here are afraid to fail. And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I've seen, has not failed. I've failed miserably, many times. I don't think the world understands that, because of shame.”
I have always known that tales of overcoming adversity are well received but I had never noticed that so many TED talks are about failure!  
A word of caution. Audiences want to hear the resolution - they probably don’t want to hear about your failure or heartbreak when you are in the midst of it. Raw emotion may spark sympathy but it is not the type of connection that will make you feel strong unless you are talking to a close friend. If Brené had stood on the stage and said she was in the middle of a nervous breakdown it would have been a little uncomfortable. On the other hand, life lessons and overcoming adversity are themes that people never tire of because they are inspiring.

8. Use humour
Humour is one of the quickest ways of connecting with an audience. It comes more naturally to some people than others but anyone can learn to be funny. Poking fun at yourself is one of the safest ways of adding humour. I don’t consider myself naturally funny so I have a preference is for subtle humour. If the audience laughs that is a bonus but if they don’t laugh it doesn’t matter as there is still value in what I am saying. This is much safer than a joke with a punchline because if the audience doesn’t laugh that can get a bit awkward. Laughing is very relaxing – but equally listening to others laugh at what you have will give you a feeling of wellbeing that will reduce those nerves considerably!

9. Go off-script
I am cheating a little by including this one as it is an advanced technique and not one that most highly nervous speakers will be able to employ at first. But as you get more experienced you may be able to “read your audience” and adapt what your material to suit. For example, if people are looking confused you may be able to find another way of explaining something instead of getting flustered. Audiences love this as shows that you care about them.

Written by Catherine Syme About
 

With Halloween upon us, I thought it was timely to look at why a fear of public speaking is so common! 

My Toastmasters Club, Talking Heads, has a Mark Twain quote on our website, "There are two types of speakers - those that are nervous and those that are liars". 

​You have probably seen headlines reporting surveys showing that people fear public speaking more than death, and you may be familiar with the Jerry Seinfeld quote:
“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Of course, Jerry Seinfeld is really highlighting that it is silly to believe that people fear public speaking more than death. I am not the first person to point out that if you held a gun to someone’s head and told them to speak, they would be quick to oblige!
 I am not going to quote statistics here because they are contradictory and I am sure they are influenced by how questions are framed. Nevertheless, I know for a fact that a fear of public speaking is very common because I have met so many people who share the same fear I once had.
There are a number of theories about why we fear public speaking. Most of these theories are not mutually exclusive.

Evolutionary basis
A fear of public speaking may have an evolutionary basis. When we get really nervous it triggers a fight-flight-freeze response. See the following article for a good explanation of “freeze” which is typically what happens to us in public speaking.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201507/trauma-and-the-freeze-response-good-bad-or-both. These are all responses which can aid survival in the face of danger. But why would we perceive public speaking as dangerous?!
I have seen a couple of different explanations for this:

• When we are standing on a stage we feel exposed. The audience are the ‘predators’, we are in the spotlight, and there is no barrier between us and danger!
• When we are on the stage we are separated from the group. Once upon a time being ostracized or rejected by the group meant certain death as we had no protection. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-real-story-risk/201211/the-thing-we-fear-more-death

These theories might seem far-fetched, but there is no doubt that a fear of public speaking can invoke an intense physical response and so I think it is credible to assume that there is an evolutionary basis.

Fear of being judged
I survey my course participants before they start the course, and a common concern they have is looking nervous because it makes them feel weak or self-conscious.
In my experience people almost always feel more nervous than they look. I have a blog article coming soon on this topic. And even if I can tell someone is nervous, that is just a sign to me that they care!
The other thing to remember is that you are probably being judged less than you think. Most of us feel a bit self-conscious when the attention is focused on us. But the Spotlight Effect is a cognitive bias which describes the tendency to overestimate how much other people notice how you look and act. As an audience member you probably form some judgements of a speaker but you are more focused on what they are saying and what is in it for you. Or you may even be thinking about other things! The point is that we overestimate how much attention people are really paying to us as a speaker. For an excellent discussion of how the spotlight effect relates to public speaking see http://sixminutes.dlugan.com/spotlight-effect/

Self-defeating thoughts
Another set of theories focus on how our negative or self-defeating thoughts can fuel a fear of public speaking. Some of these include:

• A tendency to focus on the negative or remember only our mistakes after giving a speech or presentation. We are experts at dismissing the positive and paying too much attention to mistakes which were probably only noticeable (or at least memorable) to ourselves! See my previous blog article on this https://www.fear-less.co.nz/blog/does-your-audience-really-notice-when-you-make-a-mistake-in-your-speech
• Fear of a past bad experience being repeated. If we have one bad experience of public speaking it can rattle us and make us worry that it will happen again. A neuroscientist and author of Buddha’s Brain, Dr Rick Hansen says, ‘Our brains are like Teflon for negative experiences and Velcro for positive experiences.’ https://www.rickhanson.net/books/buddhas-brain/
• Fear of fear – we worry about how our nervousness will affect our performance. While it is true that extreme nervousness is likely to undermine our performance, a few nerves can actually be helpful as I explain in this article. https://www.fear-less.co.nz/blog/using-your-nerves-to-enhance-your-public-speaking-performance

Confusing fear with excitment 
This theory suggests that initial physical reactions to public speaking are not about fear but are merely the result of our bodies preparing to perform.  This theory fits with the idea that a little nervous energy will enhance our performance. Fear and excitement are closely related and produce similar reactions in our body. Think of an athlete on the start line of an important race – they will feel a mix of excitement and nerves which in turn produces the adrenalin needed to run fast!
When it comes to public speaking, this adrenalin can also be helpful in small doses.  But if our brain interprets our feelings as fear instead of excitement or anticipation, this produces a more severe physical response which is unhelpful.  

​Genetics
This is not a separate theory but helps explain why some people seem to react to stressful situations than others. Highly anxious people appear to be prone to produce more cortisol under stress than the average person.
 
Notice that these theories have something in common – the fear is out of proportion to the ‘danger’. Of course, we already know this. Like any phobia, Glossophobia, another term for fear of public speaking, is not rationale.  But knowing this doesn’t reduce the fear! On the other hand, I strongly believe that having some understanding of what is behind our fear and knowing that others share this fear is a good first step to addressing it. 

Article written by Catherine Syme 

Recently the Atlantic reported that a tweet posted by a 15-year old high-school student “Stop forcing students to present in front of the class and give them a choice not too”, had gone viral, as had as similar tweet posted earlier this year.
https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2018/09/teens-think-they-shouldnt-have-to-speak-in-front-of-the-class/570061/

Some students are concerned that forcing them to present in front of their peers, can fuel their anxiety and have long-term harmful effects. Some of the tweets suggested it was a mental health issue, and that people suffering from anxiety should be given alternatives. They also say that students are being unfairly penalised by receiving poor grades for presenting badly when their content is good.

The tweets have garnered support from some teachers saying that they need to show compassion towards students and acknowledge students’ feelings. But many people have defended the need for students to give presentations. Some have gone as far as saying that students should ‘toughen up’ and suggested that giving students the choice to give presentations is like giving them the choice to eat vegetables! Other have arguments in favour of presenting include:

• Students are missing out on an important life skill if they don’t learn to present
• Oral communication skills are highly rated by employers (I have previously blogged on this https://www.fear-less.co.nz/blog/why-good-verbal-communication-skills-will-improve-your-employment-prospects)
• Some students will use ‘anxiety’ as a reason to skip something they just don’t like
• Being forced to present can give students confidence (when they find it wasn’t as bad as they expected).

I agree with most of these points but there is something else that appears to have been lost. Why do students feel this way in the first place and is there anything we could do to reduce their anxiety? Five-year-olds seem more than happy to share their ‘news’ with the class so why is it such a problem for teens? (and adults!)

My own view is that we don’t place enough emphasis on oral communication skills or provide enough opportunities. Unlike five-year olds, teens are highly self-conscious and many only want to do things they think they are good at – especially when others are watching. Too often, giving a presentation to the class is a one or twice a year event and with this sort of build-up it’s not surprising that students get nervous! We need to make it enjoyable, make it an everyday event, and spend as much time teaching oral communication as written communication. There may be some cases of extreme anxiety where it is counterproductive to put a child in front of their peers and make them present, but I suspect the majority of students would feel way less anxious if they had plenty of opportunities to develop their skills before they are tested. 
 
In this interview with Jim Mora, Toastmaster David O’Brien says the same thing – that we need to do more in schools to teach presentation skills. https://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/thepanel/audio/2018662418/feel-the-fear.

I strongly agree with those who are concerned about students missing out on an important life skill. The high-school art teacher cited in the Atlantic article who gives teenagers the choice about whether to speak about their work in ‘crit’ sessions, may not be doing the students any favours. What happens when these students go on to study art at university and do not have the confidence of other students? Or when they get their first job and find that pitching their idea to a client comes with the job?
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In conclusion, if students are suffering from anxiety about presentations, the right question is not “should we force them?” but “how can we help?”

People who are nervous about public speaking are sometimes put off doing public speaking courses because they don’t want to do impromptu speaking. Impromptu speaking, or table topics as it is known in Toastmasters, requires the participant to respond to random topics with no preparation. For example, you might be asked “what is the best advice you have ever had?” or “if you could time travel, what year would you chose to travel to?” Or you might be asked to give your opinion on a topical issue such as, “should we ban plastic water bottles?”.   

There are some good reasons to practice impromptu speaking. These include:

You get practice ‘thinking on your feet’
 While you may not have to answer random questions in ‘real life’ you may have to respond to something unexpected quickly, for example in a job interview.

No notes!
There is nothing to memorise, so you are not even tempted to use notes. In my mind this is one of the most important benefits.

Nothing bad will happen
Even if you performed badly you may feel more relaxed afterwards as you realise its just a bit of fun and no one cares!

A bit of humour can be helpful
Topics are often humorous and so impromptu speaking can be a great way of helping people to relax. When I work with young people I do an exercise where each person continues a made-up story. Young people find this easier than many adults because they don’t mind being ridiculous. The stories can get very silly but they students have a lot of fun. I do this early in the programme now as it helps them bond.

It plays to some people’s strengths
Some people prefer impromptu speaking over prepared speeches where they are nervous about forgetting something. For these people, impromptu speaking can give them a chance to shine.
 
My own experience is that although impromptu speaking is not my strength, it no longer bothers me. I can find something to say on any topic if I have to. And if I can’t I will just change the topic which is perfectly acceptable in impromptu speaking!  Sometimes I am aware that my response was weak, but I know that no one will remember by the next day.  Other times I come up with a reasonable answer although I can almost always think of a better one the minute I sit down!
Despite the benefits, I question whether it is the most important thing to do with people who are very nervous. The counter arguments are:

• it takes a long time to get good at impromptu speaking
• you are unlikely to have to respond to totally random questions in real-life situations
• if it puts people off tackling their public speaking fear, it’s counter-productive.

In conclusion, I am a little on the fence when it comes to impromptu speaking. I think there are benefits but we need to be careful not to put people off. For this reason, Fear-less doesn’t do impromptu speaking in its ‘pure’ form. We do other exercises where participants have limited preparation time, but they aim to develop the type of skills you might need in the workplace such as listening, processing and responding to something that someone else says.
 

The Johnson Group, a New Zealand recruitment firm specialising in recruitment for the public sector did a survey to find the ten most sought after soft skills in the public sector and found that communication, verbal and written, ranked as number two.  Johnson Group survey.

LinkedIn surveyed 2000 business leaders to find the top most in-demand soft skills for 2018. Communication was number two after Leadership. Read LinkedIn Survey.

Hays Recruiting uses their own experience to rank the top five soft skills that employers are looking for in 2018. They rank strong interpersonal and communication skills at number four. Read Hays top five skills.

Finally, an article in Stanford University’s, The College Puzzle, reinforces that oral communication skills are vital for students in their studies and in the careers “Communication skills are vital for a student’s academic success and future career prospects. In today’s challenging environment, students must not only possess academic expertise, but also the requisite skills to enhance their learning and employability prospects in the future.” Read the College Puzzle.

Some soft skills like ‘work ethic’ cannot easily be taught, but verbal communication skills can be taught. Of course, they are part of the education curriculum and are tested in NCEA. Universities also test verbal communication skills by requiring students to present seminars or projects. However, I question whether there is enough emphasis on verbal communication, especially at high-school. From what I have observed, students can get away with failing or avoiding speeches and still get their literacy credits. Even at university, depending on what course you take it is possible to come out of university with very good grades but poor communication skills.

It is not all bad news. Many young people are great communicators and are involved in activities such as drama, debating, student councils and leadership roles that help develop verbal communication skills. The 14-year old students who sign up for my Youth Leadership courses (a Toastmaster’s sponsored programme that I offer at a local high-school) do so because they understand the importance of presenting to an audience. Something that I did not understand at their age!

Two people have suggested to me recently that social media is partly responsible for young people wanting to develop their verbal communication skills. Many young people aspire to be like their favourite YouTube celebrities and vloggers. When I mentioned this in front of a a group of students recently, I saw a lot of nodding.

But despite these positive signs I worry about those who are missing out – the ones who don’t seek out opportunities and the students who get their literacy credits despite struggling with presenting to an audience. We see a lot of young people join Toastmasters because they have just had a promotion at work and suddenly they are expected to present to management or clients and they feel uncomfortable and unprepared.  I don’t remember doing much public speaking when I was at school or university aside from being expected to contribute in tutorials. That was a long time ago, but I am not sure that it is much different today.

It struck me that this was a perfect example of what I wanted to write about and so I contacted Emma to ask if she minded me using her story. She told me that she really was making plans to cancel her seminar right up to a minute before it started because she was overcome by nerves. But she went ahead, and her seminar was a huge success. 100% of the attendees signed up to follow her e-course!

I asked her when she stopped feeling nervous and she said it was when she realised that people were interested and listening to what she had to say.
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There are several reasons why finding something important to say can help you overcome your fear:

• It gives you the motivation to put the audience needs ahead of your fear. So often we are obsessed about what people will thing of us, but if we can focus instead on serving the audience it can help us forget the fear.
• The chances are that you will be knowledgeable about topics you find important and that helps with your confidence. A doctor friend of mine who has recently taken over the management of a GP clinic, told me how she has amazed herself by being able to lead meetings confidently when previously she has always been nervous about contributing at meetings. She put it down to knowing what she is talking about –realising that she is the expert and that she knows her subject matter really well.  
• Most importantly when you talk about things you find important you will come across as passionate as I am sure Emma was. Realising that you are inspiring others is a great confidence booster.

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History is also littered with people who overcame a fear of public speaking because they had an important message. One of these was Mahatma Ghandi who had panic attacks as a student and was still terrified of public speaking when he became a lawyer. Apparently, he ran out of the courtroom during his first case! In the end, his desire to see a free India overrode his anxieties and fears. 

There are usually two reasons we feel like this.

1. We don’t fully understand the message ourselves. It sounded OK when we heard it from the senior management team but now we have lots of questions and we know our team are going to have more
2. We don’t fully believe in the message. Perhaps the message we are being asked to convey is at odds with what we see around us. The management team is telling us that our need to communicate better – but the management team are perceived as bad communicators.
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This is an uncomfortable situation for anyone, but some people seem to find it more challenging than others.

The most important thing is get prepared.  Don’t try to bluff your way through something you don’t understand. If there is a logic behind something that you can’t explain you are likely to come unstuck. If you try to ‘wing it’ the chances are you will hear the faults in your own logic as you speak, and it will make you very uncomfortable.
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As well as being well prepared, there are some other things you can do depending on the situation.

Put it in your own words. I personally hate talking to someone else’s PowerPoint, even if I understand the subject. I find it much easier to explain something in a way that makes sense to me. You may not have this option if you are delivering a management message – but at least use your own examples.

Examine your thinking. Are you suffering from “the Imposter Syndrome”? Perhaps you understand as well as anyone, but you have an inner critical saying “who are you to be delivering this message?” 

Be honest. Often honesty is best if you are passing on a message. “This is what I heard. I will admit I am still coming to grips with it and I have a lot of questions. I will explain it more when I get more information, so it would be good to find out what questions you have too.” Of course, you will have to follow up or you will lose credibility. 

Be prepared to bluff just a little. I know this sounds like a contradiction but not all strategies will be appropriate to all situations! At Toastmasters we practice impromptu speaking so that we can be prepared to talk about anything at all with no time to prepare. Sometimes we just need to sound confident to be convincing and show leadership. This strategy doesn’t work well for a complex message as you will be found out. I would also not recommend it if you are deeply uncomfortable with the message, which takes me to the last point.

Ask yourself whether you are in the right job?  This sounds a bit over the top but if you are in a job where you are consistently having to deliver messages you don’t believe in it could be a signal that your values do not align to the organisation’s values.
 

The good news is that you don’t need to eliminate your fear. People who are very nervous of public speaking (say a 9/10 or a 10/10 on the chart above) only need to reduce their fear levels to 5/10 or 6/10 to see a big improvement in their performance. And it is quite common for this to happen quickly when they start to work on their presentation skills.  It might take longer to get to 3/10 but that’s OK because your performance is now acceptable and probably no worse than that of most people around you! I have just used 3/10 to illustrate as this feels about right for me.  Some people may find they perform better when they are a little more or less nervous than this. For me, a little bit of nervousness feels like nervous energy rather than fear. In fact, there is a close relationship between nervousness and excitement as anyone who has been on a roller coaster will attest to!

But if you are someone who is very fearful of public speaking to the extent that it is affecting your performance, how do you go about reducing your fear? Initially you need a safe space to practice so you can build up evidence that you can present effectively – or at least without anything really bad happening. There is a great TED talk by Eduardo Briceno “How to get better at the things you care about” about how we should spend more time in the ‘learning zone’ and less in the ‘performance zone’.
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https://www.ted.com/talks/eduardo_briceno_how_to_get_better_at_the_things_you_care_about

In the learning zone you can try new things and make mistakes with no consequences. Too often we spend most of our time in the ‘high stakes’ performance zone where mistakes are risky and interpreted as ‘failure’.

Toastmasters offers a great opportunity to spend time in the ‘learning zone’ in a low-stakes and highly supportive environment. Fear-less Public Speaking offers an alternative for anyone whose nerves are preventing them joining Toastmasters. 

I dreaded watching that video as I knew my speech was a disaster. In fact, I put it away for months and did not bring it out until a friend who had done the same course suggested we watch our videos together.

We watched hers first and then came the moment I dreaded. I sat there cringing just waiting for the part where I made a fool of myself. But when it came I could not believe it! It was hardly noticeable. Yes, I hesitated, but only briefly. I recovered quickly, and the mistake was barely perceptible!

I was so surprised and relieved because the speech was so much better than I remembered. It made me realise that I was a poor judge of my own abilities. That realisation was very important because my confidence grew after that.
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The lesson for me was that our mistakes often seem much bigger to us than to anyone else. If you forget part of your speech or make a mistake it is unlikely that anyone else will notice. Even if they do, it is unlikely that they will remember a week later. The truth is that our audience is not that interested! If we say something of value to them they may remember. But if we fail to impress, unless something disastrous happened, they will quickly forget.  

When we are fearful of public speaking, the thing the thing we fear the most is the fear itself. Fear can turn to panic as we are terrified of the effect being fearful is going to have on us.

When we fight against fear we use two main weapons:

Critical self-talk. It goes something like this. “If you can’t do this you are a failure – no one else looks as nervous as you so for goodness sake just pull yourself together and stop being weak”.

You already feel like a failure and this type of self-talk only increases your feelings of inadequacy.

Forced positive thinking. “Come on, you can do this. Its going to be OK. Its just a speech. You will be fine.” Or perhaps you use affirmations like “I am a calm and confident presenter”.

Affirmations work for some people but the problem with forced positivity is that it’s hard to trick your own mind. When we are worried about presenting it feels dangerous and according to Bowden, we are hard wired to be pessimistic in the face of danger. At the first hint of panic you are likely to revert to critical self-talk with unhelpful thoughts such as “Oh no, I am panicking. I am not OK, and this is going to be really bad.”

Before you present
Try reframing your thinking in a way that is more neutral. “I get really nervous when I present but I am going to do it anyway. The worst that can happen is that people will notice I am nervous.” This is realistic and non-judgemental without forcing positivity.

While you are presenting
You may feel the panic starting to rise. Try letting it ride over you like a wave. If you fight it the panic will almost certainly take over.  But if you let it wash over you it will start to lose its power.   

If you can present to an audience despite feeling very nervous you have made a great start. If possible, do this in a safe environment in front of people who wish you well. That way if things don’t go so well, you will collect evidence that nothing really bad happened.  Acknowledge your fear but don’t pay it too much attention.