I was working with a banker recently when I asked him a simple question:
“Can you remember when your fear of public speaking began?” At first, he couldn’t think of anything specific. But toward the end of our session, a memory surfaced. He said: “I think I know where it started. I was new in my role and attending a meeting with senior government stakeholders during COVID. Out of nowhere, my boss asked me to explain what we’d been observing about customer behaviour. I froze. I could hear myself talking in circles. Eventually, my manager had to step in. It was embarrassing—and things have only gotten worse since.” Most people with public speaking anxiety have a triggering event. Many people can trace their anxiety back to an incident at school. A client told me that her anxiety started when a classmate commented that she was blushing during a speech—and just like that, she developed a fear of both public speaking and blushing. Another was a confident speaker until he was thrown into presenting someone else’s PowerPoint slides—slides that didn’t make sense to him. He started out fine, but then the panic kicked in. After that, every speaking engagement felt risky. An event promoter, usually full of confidence, had to pivot to promoting AV systems during COVID. She didn’t understand the technical side and suddenly felt like a fraud in front of her clients.
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Let’s be honest—public speaking freaks a lot of us out. But here’s the thing… no one really talks about it.
Over the years, I’ve asked large audiences, “Raise your hand if you’ve never been nervous about public speaking.” At most, a few hands go up. The rest sit there quietly, often exchanging knowing looks. Why? Because deep down, most of us have felt that fear. The stats back it up—public speaking ranks among the top fears for humans, right up there with death and spiders. Yet despite how common it is, so many people feel like they’re the only ones. Like it’s some kind of personal flaw. A shameful secret. Picture this: You’re introducing Ben, who is giving a talk about exercise. You say,
“Ben will speak to us today about the benefits of exercise." And how does Ben start? “Hi, I’m Ben and today I am going to talk to you about the benefits of exercise.” Sound familiar? In my public speaking courses, I see this happen constantly – even when I warn the group in advance! I understand why. When your heart is racing and your palms are sweating, repeating the introduction feels safe. But it is a weak start that tells the audience what they already know. A great opening to your speech or presentation will capture the audience’s attention. A great closing will leave your audience thinking about what you have said long after you finish. Most presentations fail to do either! Public speaking can have performative aspects - good public speakers know how to use dramatic techniques for effect. But public speaking and acting are not the same thing. Understanding the similarities and differences can help you become a better public speaker.
I was running a public speaking workshop for a company a few years ago, and the national manager attended. He commented on the value of public speaking. He said that hearing people speak – whether it is giving presentations or speaking up at meetings – helps him to identify talent in the workplace.
This supported what I already knew – that people who are comfortable expressing themselves in front of audiences are more likely to be recognised at work. However, in running courses and workshops on public speaking, I have observed that some of the most talented, motivated and hardworking people lack confidence and skills. So, both employees and employers are missing out. Many people are being held back in their careers due to a lack of confidence/skills around public speaking. And organisations are also missing opportunities to recognise some of their best talent. In my last article, I encouraged anxious speakers to talk to their managers. In this article, I want to explore what an organisation that truly invested in helping staff become confident communicators would like. Less than 20% of participants in Fear-less public speaking courses have their course fees paid by their employer. Sure, some participants are self-employed, want to improve their speaking skills for non-work-related reasons, or are looking for a new job. But others may be missing opportunities to have the course recognised as professional development.
I believe there are two main reasons why people choose to pay for a course themselves rather than talk to their manager:
I was helping to run a workshop recently for high school student leaders. They were practising inspirational-type speeches that they would be giving at school assemblies to younger students. Common themes were making the most of opportunities at school, overcoming adversity, and making friends. All students spoke well, but they spoke in generalities. For example, they encouraged younger students to take up extracurricular activities such as sports and music without talking much about their own activities.
Then a young man spoke about how he had almost been expelled in his second year at high school until a teacher had recognised his potential, taken an interest in him and set him on a different path. He was now a student leader. Six months later, his speech is the only one I remember. Why? Because he didn’t talk about the idea of overcoming adversity – he demonstrated how he had done just that. Everyone has experienced failure at work, but the public humiliation of a bombed presentation is particularly hard to handle. And it can stay with you for a long time. Unfortunately, a common reaction is for people to try to avoid public speaking after a failure – which is career-limiting, stressful and often impossible long-term.
You can recover from a poor presentation and become a much better presenter. But instead of avoiding it, you have to figure out what went wrong and what you can do to fix it. This article explores the most common reasons for a poor presentation and what you can do to stop the same thing from happening again. Of course often it is not just one thing, but a combination. Laid-back Luke, Perfect Penny, and Sensitive Sarah all share a fear of public speaking. In this article I have used three personas to explain how different personality types can share this common fear. None of these personas represent a real person, but they are all typical of people who do my Fear-less public speaking courses.
Laid-back Luke You wouldn’t guess that Laid-back Luke is terrified of public speaking because, well… he’s so laid back! He seems relaxed and confident when he is not presenting. He’s the kind of friend you would choose as your best man for your wedding because you are sure he will be funny and charming - as long as he makes it to the wedding on time… Do you dust off the same presentation with minor tweaks every time you speak on a similar topic, or do you spend time adapting it to your audience?
We have all heard the advice, ‘know your audience,’ but it is tempting to overlook it when you are under pressure. Most people who suffer from public speaking anxiety have had a bad experience in the past. There can be many reasons for this, such as poor preparation. But, I’m willing to bet a fair proportion of people have had a presentation bomb because they have not tailored it to their audience. Today’s post is a story about how things can go wrong when you assume all your audiences are the same! |
Catherine SymeI get huge satisfaction from seeing the relief, pride, and even joy that people experience when they complete a course and reflect on the progress they have made. See what others say for some inspiring stories. Archives
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