Susan Jeffers’ seminal self-help book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway was first published in 1987. Nearly forty years on, its central message still lands with uncomfortable accuracy for anyone who fears public speaking.
Jeffers identified five core truths about fear. When I recently revisited them, I was struck by how closely they mirror the experiences of the people I coach every week. She could just as easily have been writing about public speaking anxiety.
This article explores how those five truths show up in that very specific fear.
Truth 1: The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow
Every time you step outside your comfort zone, fear comes along for the ride. With public speaking, that might mean speaking to a larger audience, a more senior audience, or on a topic that feels exposing.
Even highly experienced speakers feel nervous when something changes. The nerves do not mean you are bad at speaking. They mean you are doing something new.
I was reminded of this recently when I started recording videos. I am very comfortable speaking to a room full of people. Put me alone in front of a camera, and I suddenly felt awkward and self-conscious. Nothing about my ability had changed. Only the context had.
Truth 2: The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it
In a previous article, I wrote about Susan Cain, author and TED speaker, who had an intense fear of public speaking when she was younger. She has spoken openly about how therapy helped her understand herself, but did not remove her fear of public speaking. What helped was actually speaking.
This is the part many people want to skip.
I am not aware of any way to manage a fear of public speaking that does not involve speaking. That does not mean throwing yourself into a high-stakes presentation before you are ready. It means starting in a safe, structured environment where mistakes are expected and supported.
That might be a Fear-less public speaking course. It might be Toastmasters. It might be practising short contributions in meetings. The key is that you do not wait to feel ready. You get ready by doing.
And as Jeffers reminds us, even as you grow, the fear will continue to show up in new forms.
Truth 3: The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and do it
This is where confidence actually comes from.
People often tell me they are waiting to feel more confident before they speak. But confidence is not the starting point. It is the outcome.
When you do something that scares you and get through it, something shifts. You start to trust yourself. Jeffers puts it beautifully: “With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops.”
As confidence grows, competence follows. You get better because you are practising. And that competence fuels your self-belief in a way that reassurance alone never can.
A recent coaching client told me he got a huge boost of confidence after delivering an online presentation to the largest audience he had ever spoken to – around 600 people. Afterwards, six people separately reached out to tell him he had done a great job. That feedback became a turning point. Not because he suddenly stopped feeling nervous, but because he now had evidence that he could do this.
Truth 4: Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else
The fear of public speaking is far more common than most people realise. The problem is that we tend to compare our insides with other people’s outsides.
Almost every speaker you admire has felt nervous at some point. Many still do. They have simply learned how to work with the nerves rather than interpret them as danger.
Not everyone experiences fear at the same intensity. But if you fear public speaking, you are not unusual and you are not alone. There are many capable, intelligent people quietly managing this fear and assuming they are the only ones.
Many people who attend my courses describe a deep sense of relief when they realise they are surrounded by smart, motivated professionals who experience the same fear.
Truth 5: Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the bigger fear underneath
This is the truth that resonates most strongly with me.
I work with people who have gone to extraordinary lengths to avoid public speaking. Some avoid promotions. Some avoid particular roles altogether. Others live with a constant background dread, knowing that one day they will be expected to speak.
Many are deeply ashamed of this fear.
Some simply want to speak confidently at a wedding or birthday and feel disappointed in themselves that they cannot. Others are starting businesses and turning down valuable opportunities because speaking feels unbearable. Over time, this avoidance creates something heavier than nerves. It creates a sense of helplessness.
Jeffers argues that pushing through fear, while uncomfortable, is far less frightening than living with that long-term feeling of being stuck.
The irony is that many people are searching for a magic fix, not realising that it does exist. The fix is not easy, and it is not instant. But it is simple. It involves doing the very thing you dread, in a way that is gradual, supported, and humane.
I have written elsewhere about my own intense fear of public speaking, now firmly in the past. I almost joined a Toastmasters club in my twenties, but it was not until my early forties, when the fear had grown much worse, that I finally found the courage to act.
Looking back, I wish I had understood this earlier. Not that the fear would disappear, but that I did not need to wait for it to. Growth was always going to feel uncomfortable. As they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing!
