Can You Talk to Your Manager About Your Fear of Public Speaking?

Less than 20% of participants in Fear-less public speaking courses have their course fees paid by their employer. Sure, some participants are self-employed, want to improve their speaking skills for non-work-related reasons, or are looking for a new job. But others may be missing opportunities to have the course recognised as professional development.

I believe there are two main reasons why people choose to pay for a course themselves rather than talk to their manager:

• They are embarrassed to tell their manager about their fear of public speaking
• The belief that their manager will not take it seriously.

Let’s explore (and challenge!) each of these.

You are embarrassed to talk to your manager about your fear
Many people are embarrassed or ashamed of their fear of public speaking. They consider it a sign of weakness and so do their best to hide it – either struggling through presentations or avoiding them as much as possible.
I had a course participant who worked evening shifts – and made a different excuse each week for 7 weeks as to why he had to leave work for two hours to attend the course! He hid the course from his manager because he was so ashamed.

And yet I have heard so many people tell me that when they eventually told their manager, the manager was very sympathetic – and often shared that they once experienced the same fear!

I strongly encourage you to talk to your manager about how they can support you. Focus on skill development rather than fear or anxiety if this is more comfortable for you. If they try to encourage you in the direction of something you are not comfortable with (e.g. an in-house course), you may have to share a bit more – but use skill development as your starting point.

Another reason you may be reluctant to speak to your manager is that you worry they will view your fear negatively – i.e. that it limits your ability to do your job properly. I think this is highly unlikely. If they have not realised you experience anxiety, then it is clearly not affecting your performance. If they have noticed it then you have nothing to lose by talking openly about it.

You worry that your manager won’t take you seriously
People who are very comfortable with public speaking are probably over-represented in management – because it is an essential skill for most managers. If your manager is a ‘natural’ public speaker they may not understand that most people get very nervous. I have asked large groups of people before to raise their hand if they have never been nervous before presenting – and I always get a few. It is a small percentage – but your manager may be one of the lucky few.

Another possibility is that your manager will understand  – but only to a point. They may minimise it and fail to realise the impact that it is having on you.

One explanation for this is that they believe everyone gets nervous – so they might try to tell you that nervousness is normal and not to worry about it.

Most people are indeed nervous about public speaking. However, a smaller percentage experience extreme anxiety. You may have to push the point with your manager if they don’t get that you believe your anxiety to be more than ‘normal’ nervousness. Try something like “I am aware that having a fear of public speaking is very common, but it is having a big impact on me (e.g. constant worrying, losing sleep, making excuses.)”

Another explanation is that you appear a confident speaker (despite your nerves) and to your manager, there is a disconnect between what you are saying and what they observe. If your manager dismisses your fear by telling you that you appear confident, you may have to explain that you are good at covering up how you feel. It is not always obvious when someone is suffering from mental health issues – and you may have to be honest about how much you are being affected.

​
You have nothing to lose by talking to your manager about your fear of public speaking. At best, they will fully support you and pay for your training. At worst, they may minimise your concerns or tell you that there is no budget. In my opinion, it is still best to be honest. The likelihood of them thinking badly of you is extremely low – and to be honest, if I raised a fear of public speaking with my manager and they told me it was a problem and they would not support me, I would be looking for another job!

Post written by Catherine Syme