Periodically, a debate blows up on social media about whether young people should be forced to present in front of the class.
The Atlantic reported one such debate a few years ago after a 15-year-old high school student tweeted:
“Stop forcing students to present in front of the class and give them a choice not to.”
It went viral. So did a similar tweet earlier that year.
What followed was an avalanche of comments from students describing anxiety attacks, humiliation, and long-lasting psychological fallout from school presentations. Many said mandatory speaking tasks had created a fear that followed them into adulthood.
This was more than classroom grumbling. It touched on something deep that divides educators and parents into two passionate camps.
The great divide: compassion or toughen up?
The responses split almost instantly.
On one side were teachers and parents saying: be compassionate. Understand the pressure young people feel. Recognise that for some students, standing up in front of peers feels close to panic.
On the other side were those who argued that public speaking is a life skill and therefore non-negotiable. They compared allowing students to opt out of presentations to letting them opt out of eating vegetables. Unpleasant perhaps, but essential.
The pro-presentation camp had strong points.
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Speaking is a core life skill.
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Employers value it highly across almost every profession.
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Avoidance can become a habit.
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Courage grows through challenge.
I understand these arguments. I have written many times about the importance of oral communication in the workplace. Both my adult children present regularly in their jobs. Like most parents, I want young people to be prepared for the demands of modern work.
But here is what worries me.
Where does public speaking anxiety begin?
I work with professionals who struggle with intense public speaking anxiety. Many can trace the origins of that fear back to school.
One client joined my course in his early twenties. He had dropped out of school at 17 to avoid a speech. He told me he was an above-average student who coped well academically, but the thought of standing in front of the class left him in a state of panic. Instead of failing the task, he left school entirely.
A few years later, he wanted to go to university – but knowing he would have to do presentations was holding him back.
Another young woman came to me for help when she was on the verge of failing medical school. She was bright, capable, and doing well academically, but she was so anxious about presenting in front of the whole class that she could not get through the assessment. Her school had never prepared her for this. She was about to fail, not because she lacked medical competence, but because she had never been taught how to manage the experience of speaking to an audience.
Here is what another client shared with me:
These are not isolated cases. I see this pattern again and again.
Which brings me to the real issue.
We are asking the wrong question
Everyone gets caught up in the argument over whether students should be forced to present. But that is the wrong question.
The real question is this:
How can we teach this essential life skill without creating the very anxiety we want to prevent?
Right now, many schools are getting this wrong. And not because teachers do not care. Often, it is because the structure of school speaking tasks sets students up to experience maximum pressure with minimal support.
What schools get right… and what they get wrong
Some students thrive. If they have been involved in debating, drama, student leadership, or speech competitions, they often become exceptional communicators. I have coached high school leaders who can present better than many senior executives.
And young people can absolutely rise to extraordinary levels when well supported. When Greta Thunberg first addressed the UN, she showed the world what a passionate, prepared young person can do.
But those students are the minority.
Too many young people slip through school with excellent grades and almost no speaking experience. For them, the only presentation they do is the once-a-year high-stakes speech. It is the equivalent of being asked to run a marathon with no training.
Psychologists have long known that public speaking is the most common form of social anxiety. Anxiety spikes sharply in early adolescence. Put those two facts together, and the typical school presentation suddenly looks far less benign.
The UK oracy movement has been highlighting this problem for years. Their research shows huge benefits when oral language is embedded across every subject. Not as a yearly ordeal, but as an everyday practice. They argue that we should treat spoken language as seriously as reading and writing.
They also warn that disadvantaged students suffer the most when speaking skills are left to chance.
In other words, the problem is that students are asked to do too little low-stakes speaking and too much high-stakes speaking.
What parents can do
Parents cannot overhaul the education system, but they can absolutely help their children develop confidence and skills at home. And when those skills grow, the school presentations become far less intimidating.
Here are some ways to build comfort and confidence gently.
1. Make reading aloud a performance.
Encourage your child to stand, project their voice, and imagine an audience. It builds familiarity with being seen and heard.
2. Have fun with impromptu speaking.
Ask light questions like: If you could create a new holiday, what would it be? The goal is to practise speaking on their feet without pressure. Make sure you take a turn too.
3. Turn current events into conversation.
Choose a topic, let everyone research it for a day or two, then hold a family discussion or mini debate. It strengthens thinking and speaking together.
4. Focus on encouraging feedback.
Notice what your child does well. Offer one gentle suggestion, then finish with something positive. Confidence grows from feeling safe to try again.
5. Consider drama or speech classes.
These provide structured, supportive practice. Younger children in particular benefit before self-consciousness sets in.
6. Talk openly about nerves.
Explain that nervousness is normal and often invisible to others. Share your own memories. Help them see that feeling anxious does not mean they cannot do it.
7. Encourage a growth mindset.
Public speaking is a skill. It improves with repetition. Many children believe they are simply “bad at it”. That belief often harms them more than the speaking itself.
The bottom line
Avoiding public speaking does not protect young people. It limits them. But forcing terrified children to perform with no support does not build courage. It builds fear.
The goal is not to throw them in the deep end. The goal is graded, supported practice. Safe opportunities to try, stumble a little, feel proud, and grow.
Schools need to rethink how speaking is taught. Parents can create safe environments at home. Together, we can help young people step into adulthood confident and capable of using their voices.
And perhaps most importantly, we can stop creating adults who come to my courses carrying fears that began at fourteen years old.
