“Stop forcing students to present in front of the class and give them a choice not too.”
This tweet had gone viral, as had a similar tweet posted earlier that year.
What started as one teenager’s plea quickly snowballed.
Students weren’t just complaining about being nervous – they were raising serious concerns about anxiety, mental health, and the lasting psychological impact of forced public speaking.
The message was clear: for many young people, mandatory presentations weren’t just uncomfortable – they felt traumatic. Students argued that being forced to present could trigger anxiety attacks, worsen existing mental health conditions, and create negative associations with public speaking that could last a lifetime.
But this wasn’t just students venting online. The debate had touched a nerve that ran much deeper than typical classroom complaints, dividing educators and parents into two passionate camps: those who believed presentations were essential life skills, and those who saw them as potentially harmful requirements that needed alternatives.
The Great Divide – Compassion vs “Toughen Up”
The response was swift and polarising. Teachers flooded social media with messages of support and called for compassion and understanding in the classroom.
But the pushback was equally fierce. Critics fired back with a very different message: students need to “toughen up.” Some commenters went so far as to compare giving students a choice about presentations to letting them opt out of eating vegetables – basically arguing that some things in life aren’t optional, no matter how unpleasant.
The pro-presentation camp came armed with compelling arguments:
- Life skills aren’t negotiable. Students who skip presentations miss out on crucial abilities they’ll need as adults.
- Employers expect it. Oral communication consistently ranks among the most valued workplace skills.
- “Anxiety” can become an excuse. Some students might exploit mental health concerns to avoid challenges they simply don’t enjoy.
- Courage grows through challenge. Many students discover they’re more capable than they thought once they push through their fears.
I sympathise with many of these arguments. I have previously written about the importance of oral communication skills in the workplace.
Take my own family. My 29-year-old daughter works as a designer and regularly pitches ideas to senior executives – her career depends on her ability to present confidently. My 26-year-old son also works in IT and was recently sent on leadership training that culminated with a presentation to the senior leadership team of a large corporation.
But here is what has me worried
I work with professionals with intense public speaking anxiety, and many can trace their fears back to a humiliating school experience. Here is what one client shared with me:
“Throughout junior school and high school, any time I had to do an oral presentation, I would have a mini panic attack due to my shyness — I was a social outcast throughout my early school years and any situation presenting to my peers ended in public humiliation.
It got slightly better in the final years of high school, after moving schools and becoming socially accepted, but I’ve never fully gotten over the public humiliation and social rejection I experienced as a child. Whenever I need to put myself in a situation where people will judge me, I panic and lose all confidence.”
This is not just one person’s story. It is a pattern I see repeatedly – successful adults whose careers are limited by fears that began in school hallways decades ago.
We are asking the wrong question
Everyone gets caught up in the battle over whether students should be forced to present. But that’s missing the point. The real question we should be asking is: How can we teach this essential life skill without creating the very anxiety we’re trying to overcome?
Schools and parents can both make a big difference.
We need to change how schools approach public speaking
Right now, the system does not work well for many students. Some thrive – those involved in debating, drama, student councils, and leadership programs become confident speakers who could give TED talks. I’ve worked with high school student leaders who speak better than most corporate executives.
Look at Greta Thunberg. She’s proof that young people can command world stages when they’re properly supported and passionate about their message.
But here’s the problem: too many students slip through the cracks. They can graduate with excellent grades while barely saying a word out loud. For many, their only speaking experience is the dreaded annual speech contest – a high-pressure, high-stakes situation that practically guarantees anxiety.
Imagine if we treated public speaking like reading and writing – as a fundamental skill that gets practised daily, not an annual ordeal. If students shared ideas verbally every day, presentations would feel as natural as turning in homework. It doesn’t have to be a separate subject – better if oral communication skills are simply integrated into every subject.
Parents: You are not Powerless
While you can’t single-handedly fix the education system, you can absolutely help your child develop confidence and skills at home. And you make it more likely that your kids will actually want to take speaking opportunities at school.
Start with family reading time – but make it performance time. Get your kids to read aloud while standing, and encourage them to imagine they’re addressing a packed auditorium. It sounds simple, but it builds comfort with being “on stage.”
Institute weekly impromptu speaking sessions. Make it fun. Ask engaging questions like “If you could be any animal, what would you choose and why?” or “Where should our next family vacation be?” The key is getting them on their feet and thinking out loud. Make sure you take a turn too!
Turn current events into family discussions. Pick a topic everyone’s curious about, give the family a few days to research, then have a structured discussion or debate. Bonus points if it connects to something they’re studying at school – suddenly, homework becomes conversation material.
Keep feedback positive and constructive. Skip the harsh critiques. Instead, lead with what you loved, offer one gentle suggestion, then end on a high note. Try something like: “I loved your enthusiasm about being a rabbit! You could take a moment to organise your thoughts before you start – but your voice was so clear and I loved how you looked right at us.”
Consider drama or speech classes. These create safe spaces to practice performing in front of others. The earlier you start, the better – younger kids haven’t developed as much self-consciousness yet.
Address their fears head-on. If your child is genuinely distressed about public speaking, normalise their feelings. Share your own experiences. Explain that nervousness is invisible to audiences – they can’t see the pounding heart or butterflies in their stomach. And even if people notice some nerves, they’ll forget by tomorrow.
Cultivate a growth mindset. Help them understand that public speaking is a learnable skill, just like reading or math. Many schools don’t teach it well, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to master. The more they practice, the more natural it becomes.
The Bottom Line
As parents, our instinct is to shield our children from discomfort and potential humiliation. But avoiding public speaking entirely isn’t protection – it’s preparing them for limitation.
The goal isn’t to throw them to the wolves. It’s to create safe spaces where they can build genuine confidence through practice and support. Use your home as a training ground. Invest in classes if possible. And celebrate every small step outside their comfort zone!
