Do you worry that your audience will notice your trembling hands or shaking voice? In this article I explore why we care about looking nervous, whether the audience really does notice (or care), and what we can do to hide the nerves.
Why do we care so much?
It’s funny when you think about it. It is a well-known fact that most people are nervous about public speaking, yet we want to hide it as if it is a shameful secret!
While I can’t fully explain it, I have a couple of theories about why we are so keen to conceal our nerves.
The first is that we feel foolish because there is no physical danger. While you would not be embarrassed about feeling nervous before skydiving, the same physiological response before public speaking seems irrational and silly. I once read about an ex-serviceman who admitted that public speaking terrified him more than being in a battle zone!
My second theory is that we view the fear of public speaking as a sign of weakness. We equate being nervous with lacking in confidence more generally. And we admire people who appear confident.
I like to take a two-pronged approach to help people who are ashamed of looking nervous. I start by “calling out” their judgements about how the audience views them. And I teach them techniques for looking more confident than they feel.
How easy is it for the audience to detect your nerves?
Here’s the truth. The audience can detect far less of your nervousness than you imagine. Many physical symptoms remain invisible to others:
- Your racing heart
- Light-headedness
- Internal panic
- Sweaty palms
- Nausea.
These symptoms feel overwhelming to you but are mainly undetectable to your audience. This phenomenon has a name – the ‘illusion of transparency’ – a cognitive bias that causes us to overestimate how visible our emotions are to others.
My clients often express shock when watching videos of their presentations. For example, I had a young man who kept stopping during his presentation to tell us his legs were shaking! Afterwards, I sent him the video of is presentation. Within minutes he emailed me this reply,
“Wow. You really are right with the videoing; you feel so much more nervous than you look on video. This has made me feel much better; I appreciate it!”
Another client emailed to tell me that despite good feedback from the group, he was really struggling. I encouraged him to look at his video and he replied saying that it was not nearly as bad as he thought and he felt much better! A woman told me that she could not stop crying after watching her first video – because she realised she had been way too hard on herself for many years.
Even supposedly visible signs of nerves may go unnoticed.
- That trembling leg you are intensely aware of? Most audience members never see it.
- Your ‘obviously shaky’ voice? You can detect subtle voice changes long before anyone else can.
- Blushing? Unless you draw attention to it, most people won’t focus on it.
Nervous habits are more likely to give away your anxiety, than physiological symptoms. For example, speaking too fast, rocking, pen clicking, hand clasping etc. The good news is that you can train yourself out of habits, once you become aware. I will return to this shortly.
But first, let’s say that your nerves are somewhat noticeable. How does that affect what people think about you?
Does the audience care if you look nervous?
Even if people do detect a few nerves, they rarely judge you harshly for it.
Think back to the last time you noticed a speaker looking nervous? Did you feel annoyed? Or did you feel some empathy?
Audiences are far more concerned with:
- Whether you are providing value
- If you are respecting their time
- How prepared you seem.
A touch of vulnerability can actually humanise you and demonstrate that you care about delivering a good presentation. Unless you’re a politician or professional speaker where confidence is part of the job description, most people understand and forgive public speaking jitters.
How to project more confidence than you feel
Even with these reassurances, it’s natural to want to appear confident. Here is how to cultivate that elusive ‘stage presence.’
Focus on your audience and your ‘why’
Think about how you can help your audience rather than obsessing over what they think of you. What value are you providing? – information, entertainment, inspiration? By concentrating on delivering a message that meets the needs of your audience, you will become less self-conscious.
Master your body language
- Eliminate distracting habits: Watch yourself on video (with sound off) to identify unconscious behaviours like rocking, hand-wringing, or pen-clicking. Work on one habit at a time until the improvement becomes automatic.
- Strengthen eye contact: Hold gaze slightly longer than feels comfortable, making sure to cover all areas of the room. This not only makes you appear more authoritative but also helps you feel more powerful, especially when you receive positive non-verbal feedback.
- Embrace the powerful pause: Use strategic silence to create anticipation, give your audience time to reflect, or signal a change in topic. Like eye contact, the ideal length is slightly longer than what initially feels natural.
Remember that mastering these techniques takes time—don’t try to change everything at once. Pick one skill to focus on, practice until it becomes second nature, then move to the next.
For more tips on looking more confident, see this blog article, How to Look Like a Confident Speaker (Even When You Don’t Feel Like One!).
Last Words
The next time you face an audience, carry this knowledge with you: your nervousness is far less visible than you think, and even when it shows, people care far less than you imagine.
By shifting focus to serving your audience rather than impressing them, you’ll ironically achieve exactly what you were hoping for all along—their approval and engagement.
Post written by Catherine Syme
Updated August 2025
Fear-less offers online group courses and 1-on-1 coaching.
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