We watched hers first and then came the moment I dreaded. I sat there cringing just waiting for the part where I made a fool of myself. But when it came I could not believe it! It was hardly noticeable. Yes, I hesitated, but only briefly. I recovered quickly, and the mistake was barely perceptible!
I was so surprised and relieved because the speech was so much better than I remembered. It made me realise that I was a poor judge of my own abilities. That realisation was very important because my confidence grew after that.
The lesson for me was that our mistakes often seem much bigger to us than to anyone else. If you forget part of your speech or make a mistake it is unlikely that anyone else will notice. Even if they do, it is unlikely that they will remember a week later. The truth is that our audience is not that interested! If we say something of value to them they may remember. But if we fail to impress, unless something disastrous happened, they will quickly forget.
Written by Catherine Syme
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Great perspective—mistakes often feel bigger to the speaker than to the audience. I’m curious: have you found any techniques (like pausing, acknowledging it briefly, or humor) that help speakers recover more smoothly? And do audiences generally remember how a speaker handled a slip more than the slip itself?
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Any of those suggestions can work well – but often simply carrying on is all that is needed. Since I wrote this article 7 years ago, I have seen so many people experience the same thing – making a small stumble and believing it’s a big deal. I now video my clients and encourage them to watch themselves later. It is almost always reassuring. I had one young man ready to give up the course after what he thought was a disaster. I encouraged him to watch his video and he contacted me immediately saying that it was so much better than he thought. He completed the course and ended up giving an interview on national radio when he had been so close to dropping out! But you are right – something like ‘let me back up and start that bit again’ is what we might say in conversation – and works just as well in front of an audience.