There’s a TED talk I’ve been recommending to participants in my public speaking courses for years. It’s called How to get better at the things you care about, by Eduardo Briceño.
The talk is from 2017, but I watched it again recently and was struck by how relevant it still is, particularly for people who struggle with public speaking anxiety.
Briceño’s central argument is deceptively simple. If we spend all our time trying to perform well, we can actually prevent ourselves from getting better.
It’s one of those ideas that seems obvious once someone points it out, but is surprisingly easy to overlook.
This is something I see regularly in my coaching. People want to become more confident speakers, but they’re so concerned about getting things wrong, looking foolish or being judged that they put enormous pressure on themselves to deliver a flawless performance.
And when they can’t be certain they’ll do well, they sometimes avoid speaking altogether.
But even those who regularly give presentations don’t necessarily become better speakers. They may become more experienced, but if they continue to rely on the same habits, avoid the same challenges and measure success by whether they’ve made any mistakes, there’s little opportunity to develop new skills.
The problem is that this approach leaves very little room for learning.
The difference between performing and learning
Briceño describes two different states that we need to move between if we want to improve at anything.
The performance zone is where we put our existing skills into action. We’re trying to do our best, achieve a result and minimise mistakes.
The learning zone is different. This is where we deliberately work on things we haven’t yet mastered. We experiment, challenge ourselves, seek feedback and accept that mistakes are part of the process.
Both zones matter. But Briceño argues that we spend too much time in the performance zone and not enough in the learning zone.
Think about how you approach a presentation at work.
You probably want to do a good job. You’ll prepare your material, think about what your audience needs to know and perhaps rehearse what you’re going to say.
That’s entirely appropriate. But if your only aim is to deliver the presentation as successfully as possible, you may continue relying on the techniques and habits you already know.
Perhaps you always write a full script because you’re worried about forgetting what you want to say. Or you prepare answers to every question you can imagine because you don’t trust yourself to respond spontaneously.
These strategies might help you get through a presentation, but they don’t necessarily help you become a more capable speaker.
There’s a difference between repeatedly doing something and deliberately working to get better at it.
Four steps to becoming a better public speaker
Towards the end of his talk, Briceño identifies four conditions that help us spend more time in the learning zone. I think they provide an excellent framework for anyone who wants to improve their public speaking, particularly if anxiety has been holding them back.
1. Believe that you can improve
It’s surprising how often people describe their public speaking ability as though it’s a fixed characteristic. They tell me they’re naturally shy, they’re hopeless at thinking on their feet or they’re just not the sort of person who can speak confidently in front of a group.
Sometimes they’ve held these beliefs for decades, perhaps dating back to an embarrassing experience at school or early in their career.
But public speaking is a skill that can be learnt and developed. Some people may find it easier than others, just as some people find learning languages or playing sport easier. That doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t become good at it.
You don’t need to become an extrovert or change your personality to become an effective speaker. You do, however, need to challenge the belief that your current ability is the limit of what you can achieve.
2. Have a reason to improve
Becoming a better public speaker takes effort, and if speaking makes you anxious, some of that effort will involve doing things that feel uncomfortable.
That’s why Briceño’s second condition matters. You need a reason to improve that’s important enough to make the effort worthwhile.
For some of my clients, it’s about career progression. They know they have the technical skills and experience to take on more senior roles, but their reluctance to speak up is holding them back. For others, it’s about wanting to contribute more effectively in meetings, share their expertise or stop spending days worrying about an upcoming presentation.
And sometimes it’s simply the frustration of knowing they have something valuable to say but struggling to say it when other people are listening.
Whatever your motivation, be clear about what becoming a better speaker would make possible for you. That reason will help when you’re tempted to retreat into what’s comfortable.
3. Know how to improve
This is the step I think many people overlook.
Giving more presentations may make you more familiar with the experience, but it won’t necessarily help you develop the specific skills you’re struggling with.
Briceño talks about deliberate practice. Rather than repeatedly doing the whole activity, we identify particular aspects we want to improve and work on them with focused attention, feedback and repetition.
I’ve seen this many times during my years in Toastmasters. For example, some speakers use a lot of filler words, such as ‘um’, ‘ah’ and ‘you know’. I’ve watched people give speech after speech, only to find that a year later they’re still using just as many filler words.
But I’ve also seen speakers make enormous improvements in a relatively short time. The difference isn’t necessarily how often they speak. It’s that they’ve made a conscious decision to work on reducing their filler words. They pay attention to when they use them, practise pausing instead and use the feedback they receive to monitor their progress.
Both groups are getting speaking experience, but only one is deliberately working on changing a habit. Of course, a few filler words are perfectly normal in conversational speech, but the example illustrates how focused practice can help us improve.
The same principle applies to other aspects of public speaking.
If you want to become more comfortable speaking without notes, start practising with a few key points rather than a full script. Try explaining an idea in your own words, and practise finding your way back when you lose your train of thought.
If you struggle with unexpected questions, practise answering questions you haven’t prepared for. Learn to take a moment to think, organise your ideas and give a concise response.
And if you tend to rush when you’re nervous, work specifically on slowing down and using pauses.
The key is to identify what you want to improve, practise that skill and use feedback to make adjustments. You don’t need to work on everything at once. Focusing on one or two things at a time is usually much more effective.
4. Create opportunities to practise where the stakes are low
Briceño’s fourth condition is particularly important for anxious speakers.
If we’re going to learn, we need to be willing to make mistakes. And that means finding situations where the consequences of getting something wrong aren’t too serious.
He uses the example of a tightrope walker who wouldn’t practise a new trick without a safety net.
The same principle applies to public speaking. A presentation to your board or a major client probably isn’t the ideal time to try speaking without notes for the first time. But a regular team meeting might be.
You could volunteer to give a short update, practise answering questions with a trusted colleague or experiment with a different presentation style in a smaller, more familiar setting.
The challenge should stretch you, but it doesn’t need to overwhelm you. And the objective isn’t necessarily to do a perfect job. It’s to try something, notice what happens and learn from the experience.
Jared’s story: When experience isn’t enough
Many of my clients admit to avoiding public speaking whenever possible. But others tell me they do a lot of it, and despite all that experience, it never really gets any easier.
Jared was a good example. He was a marketing manager for a retail chain and had to give presentations regularly. I suspect his colleagues and team would have been shocked to discover just how much he struggled. He came across as a competent speaker, but inside he often felt panicky and was constantly worried that other people could see how nervous he was.
When we talked about how he prepared for presentations, it became clear that he took much the same approach every time. Lots of slides, detailed notes and plenty of rehearsal beforehand. He got through his presentations, but that was about all he felt he achieved. Despite years of experience, he wasn’t becoming any more comfortable with public speaking.
The first time Jared spoke in my course, I encouraged him to present without slides. I was taking away the crutch he’d relied on for years, and he was terrified. But he managed it! Afterwards, he told me that for the first time he had actually felt present while speaking, rather than simply concentrating on getting through his material.
It certainly wasn’t a flawless presentation. He stumbled over his words a little and at one point forgot what he wanted to say. But because he was practising in a supportive environment where mistakes didn’t matter, he was able to accept that. And when he watched the video afterwards, he was surprised to discover that those moments he’d been so conscious of were barely noticeable to anyone watching.
By the end of the course, Jared was starting to approach his presentations at work differently. He was using fewer slides, putting less information on them and becoming more comfortable speaking without relying so heavily on his notes.
What made the difference wasn’t simply giving more presentations. He’d been doing that for years. It was having the opportunity to try something different, make a few mistakes and discover that he could still communicate effectively.
For Jared, having a safe place to experiment helped him break out of habits that had kept him anxious for years.
High standards are not the same as perfectionism
There’s another aspect of Briceño’s argument that I think is especially relevant to public speaking: the difference between having high standards and expecting perfection.
I’m a strong believer in preparing well for important presentations. You owe it to your audience to be clear about your message, understand their needs and deliver your material as effectively as you can.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do an excellent job. But having high standards is not the same as believing that you mustn’t make a mistake.
Perfectionism can get in the way of learning because it makes mistakes feel threatening rather than useful.
If you believe you must get everything right, you’re less likely to experiment with a new approach. You may spend hours memorising your presentation, avoid speaking spontaneously or turn down opportunities because you can’t be sure you’ll perform well.
You might also be so focused on remembering every word or avoiding a mistake that you lose some of your connection with the audience.
In other words, the strategies you’re using to protect your performance may actually be limiting it.
Briceño explores this idea further in his 2023 book, The Performance Paradox: Turning the Power of Mindset into Action. His central argument is that our relentless focus on performing well can prevent us from developing the skills that would help us perform even better in the future.
You don’t have to lower your standards to become a better speaker. But you do have to accept that learning involves experimenting, occasionally getting things wrong and making adjustments.
Making the most of every speaking opportunity
Of course, we can’t treat every presentation as a practice session. Sometimes the stakes really are high, and our priority needs to be delivering the best presentation we can.
But even then, we can use the experience to learn.
One of Briceño’s suggestions is to reflect on our performance afterwards, identifying what worked well and what we could do differently next time.
This doesn’t mean conducting a forensic examination of every mistake. Anxious speakers are often very good at doing that already!
Instead, try asking yourself three questions:
- What went well, and what would I like to repeat?
- What didn’t go quite as I’d hoped?
- What’s one thing I could work on before my next presentation?
Then make a plan to practise that particular skill.
This shifts your focus from judging how well you performed to identifying what will help you improve.
Stop trying to prove yourself and start improving
What I particularly like about Briceño’s talk is that his underlying message is so simple.
If we want to get better at something, we need to spend time learning, not just doing.
Yet it’s remarkably easy to overlook, especially in professional environments where we feel we’re constantly being judged on our performance. And for people with public speaking anxiety, the pressure to perform well can be even greater.
I know how tempting it is to stay with what feels familiar, to prepare for every possibility and to avoid situations where you might make a mistake. But if you want to become a more confident and capable speaker, at some point you need to give yourself permission to experiment.
That doesn’t mean abandoning your high standards. It means recognising that becoming an excellent speaker is a process, not something you have to demonstrate every time you stand up to speak.
So the next time you have an opportunity to speak, don’t just think about how well you want to perform.
Ask yourself: What’s one thing I could do differently that would help me become a better speaker?
And then give it a go.
